God with us?
Is God really with me in my cancer journey
When I was a hospice chaplain I used to thank my patients and their families for allowing me the privilege of entering their sacred space at the most vulnerable moment in their lives. I didn’t get to meet them when they were thriving. I didn’t get to witness them in their prime. Many of them had stellar careers. Many of them had amazing experiences and accomplishments. Some of them were a part of making history. Yet my role in their lives came at a time that many considered to be their worst.
Over the 4 years I experienced serving persons with life limiting illnesses, I learned that living bravely and generously with your sacred space at a time when others don’t get to see you in your prime is in fact allowing people to see you at your very best because you’re not remembered for how well you performed. You’re ultimately remembered as a person. A person who lived, who rightfully took up space, and a person who generously invited others into that space in order to share a life with them. That is special. That is sacred.
That is also the essence of the gospels.
I once heard that the four gospels only accounted for about 50 days of Jesus life and ministry. I’m not sure how accurate that is. We know he was tempted in the wilderness for 40 days and he hung around for 40 days after his resurrection. Yet we don’t actually get much details about what he did during those two 40 day stints so I suppose it is possible that as far as what Jesus was actually doing, we only have about 50 days. Give or take. If you think about it that’s not a very good sample size of Jesus’ life. If he lived to be 33 years old, having only 50 days of his life isn’t much information.
In fact, in the gospels we drop down into the life of Jesus in his final days.
He does some incredible miracles, but most of the history recorded covers his hard road toward death.
I don’t think it’s sacrilegious to believe that Jesus had some really beautiful days filled with fun, laughter, family, and joy that we just never get to see. We don’t get to witness his childhood. We don’t know how he got along with his siblings. What don’t get to see him as a teenager. We don’t get to see him graduate school. We missed the opportunity to see the joy on his mother’s face as he grew into a respected rabbi. We don’t get to eaves drop in on the father son talks he had with Joseph.
Jesus has a whole life before we meet him. When we meet him he is headed toward death. A death that he believed was for our benefit. And that’s the story we get to share with him.
The gospels remind us that Jesus had a whole life before us. One that wasn’t filled with tension and tragedy. When we meet him we find him focused on us. Jesus invites us all to share a life and a home with him and he does that by inviting us into his life just as he approaches its end.
As I live out my days battling a cancer that currently cannot be cured or removed, I am reminded that the story of Jesus is the story of a god who identifies with having hard days and hard times and hard realities to face. In ancient times this story, the story of a vulnerable god didn’t go over well. Gods didn’t have hard days. Gods didn’t struggle or suffer. Gods didn’t die. The story of Jesus was the story of a weakling who chose people over the power of a god.
And ironically that to me feels like his greatest gift.
Gods gift to us, beyond miracles, is an invitation to live with us not just when we’re on top, but through his incarnation, God insists on being with us and for us in the parts of our story that don’t always include our greatest success and he sends us that message by inviting us to share in his worst moments and his worst days.
This is Emmanuel.
This is God is with us.
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This is so beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for using the health and energy you do have to encourage us!
It's so true, my friend. We are all broken people born into a broken world. Jesus came to allow himself to be broken with and for us. I have along been intrigued by Scripture's focus on brokenness, especially Daniel 12:7 NIV.